I had a long talk with the hubs last night after a particularly irritating exchange with a person I consider a friend. I was at a loss as to what to say to said friend, and sometimes I wonder if it's a personal flaw. See I'm 27 and I don't have many friends... I mean I have plenty of "superficial" friends, one's that I talk to to, but never about anything deep, or turn to when the things in my house are over whelming. This doesn't happen often, for example, after my skull splitting migraine the hubs and I FOUGHT about my having a CT scan... when I mentioned it in front of Mama J and the Twin, they both said they wanted to witness that.. "It would make us seem human". But in the times it does happen, or when I'm pulling my hair out b/c the hubs is out of town and I feel like a single parent, it would be great if I could call up a friend and shout about it.
My relationships with women have never been strong, unless you count the women in my family. As a teenager my friends were girls that I went to school with, and after some boyfriend stealing drama, they faded. In college (the first go round) I was not into making friends.. I was so focused on grades and working to pay my car payment that I didn't take time to form those friendships... the only "friend" I made was a guy.
Which is maybe one of my other problems. My best friend before the hubs was a guy... we had been friends since we were 12, I could always count on him, but after suffering the loss of his mother he went AWOL.. (sigh), I've mentioned him before.. Brandon Parks.. if you know him, tell him I said hi :O)
So this morning as I sat in sermon I listened to my pastor read Matthew 5:5 "Blessed are the Meek, for they shall inherit the earth." Meek does not mean a pushover or constant peace keeper, but as my pastor explained it "A person who considers, makes decisions, and reflects love and compassion to those they don't feel deserve it."
See I was aggravated at my friend b/c I felt they didn't deserve my reaching out.. my phone had not been ringing off the hook, or my mail box full of invites, but what they deserve isn't what I should give. They hadn't reached out, but neither had I. And if I treated them as I want to be treated perhaps our friendship would be better.
I realized this morning that I need to work harder at the "superficial" friendships and maybe they will become deeper. Am I trust worthy enough for people to count on me in a time of need? Do they feel they can come to me when they are angry with their hubs, or upset over a situation at work, etc? I would like to embody these aspects even if the favor is never returned...
Also I would like to start making an effort to have a "Girls night Out" and maybe play dates with friends who have kids... other ways to strengthen those friendships.
How do you keep your friendships strong? Does having a husband and kids make it harder? Do you have girls night?
Today I am thankful for:
Friends: I do have some very close friends.. Mama J, the Twin, DEFINITELY the Hubs, the Plemons, but I'm also thankful for the friends who aren't so close... I want to get to know all of them a lot better... The Meek shall inherit the earth... and sow deep friendships...