Thursday, November 5, 2009

If you Discover That I'm Human Will you Continue to Read?

I started a blog about how I discovered I was pregnant with Sugar Mama. You may have read that my pregnancy with her was very difficult. It started that way, continued with an emotional roller coaster that took me to my knees. I was without control, and when my specialist looked at me and told me that she would not make it past 28 weeks I relied more heavily on God that I ever had.

I cried a lot. I spent a lot of time alone, sometimes in a room with no cable and terrified that the smallest thing I did would harm my baby in someway. I was 22 years old, scared, and my body was failing to do the one thing it was designed for. As a woman I couldn't protect this little life.

As I typed this funny little blurp about how I freaked out on a police officer who questioned the hubs about what he had to drink after another person hit our car and ran. How we had the time of our lives at the Georgia vs. Florida game that year, and how I didn't know I was pregnant. I had a small stomach ache after I drank about 1/2 of an alcoholic beverage. As I was typing it I thought about how the judgement of people thinking that my one drink might have caused my problems was a weight that I couldn't risk. Also I was afraid that admitting that I had that one drink might call my relationship with God into question.

I was saved at a young age, one saved always saved. I'm not perfect and there are moments in my life that I would take back if I could. That is not an option, but moving forward when I have conversations with my girls about life I will tell them the things I wish I could erase. I've had drinks before.. but not since I found out I was pregnant with Sugar Mama. They also got me into trouble, but that's enough admission for one post...

I'm saved, have been for a long time, and I've made mistakes. I'm a sinner saved by grace, and I'll made a lot more... but...

Will you read my blog if you find out I'm human....

5 comments:

  1. Girl,
    We would read your blog whether you were a human, a monkey, or an alien!!
    Haha.

    We love you! :D
    *~The Plemons Family~*

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  2. We love ya'll more !!
    And next time we see each other, you WILL sing for me !
    So be practicing "I Don't Wanna Go"(mine) and "Strong Enough"(momma's)! :) :) :) :)

    Lots of Love!!
    Heather

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  3. I <3 you even more than that, but I am NOT singing!!! I haven't sang in 2 years, but love you still!!!!!!

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  4. oh and I forgot to say "He's in the House" !!
    :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

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