Sunday, February 7, 2010

In Life It Always Matters The Choices You Make When Things Don't Work Out Your Way...

You may have read a blog post just a couple of weeks ago about the decision that the Hubs and I had to make regarding Sugar Mama and her going to school in the fall. We discussed several options, and made the decisions we would choose depending on where we were at the time.

It appears that our plans were just a thought in the overall plan God has in store for us. One of the options the Hubs and I discussed was Homeschooling. He dismissed it immediately because he thought I would end up disliking it greatly, and because with my school and recent gym membership he didn't think I could devote the amount of time necessary. I agreed with him... until 4 days ago.

Sugar Mama has only ever gone to one preschool.. it was a very difficult decision for me, and I sent her because I thought it would be great for everyone.. the Nugget had just arrived and she needed something that was her OWN... I've met some WoNdErFuL people at this school. Sugar Mama's first teacher is one of my very dear friends, and I loved the interactions that I had with the parents and staff... our decision was also based on the need for her to be prepared for kindergarten.

We decided that if we had not moved by the start of school that we would send Sugar Mama to the same school she attended for Preschool. One reservation that we had was the "testing" process private schools require to gain entrance. I specifically remember saying "I don't want to put my daughter in position where some one may tell her she is not smart enough to get in somewhere..." On Wednesday I received a call from the Elementary director telling me that Sugar Mama did not test well enough to get into their kindergarten.. I was devastated. And more than a little confused...and most importantly bitter.. very, very bitter.

I was unsure of what to do next.. they informed me that b/c she couldn't recognize her letters she wasn't ready for kindergarten at all.. at her current school or otherwise... now I was even more confused, and bitter. To me she's brilliant, and I know every parent feels that way, but she can spell her name...write her name...tell me about bees collecting nectar from flowers to make honey.. how caterpillars wrap themselves in their cocoons and chrysalis.. but b/c she can't recognize her letters she's not ready?!?

You may be asking yourself why I was bitter... see this was the first time I was hearing about this...apparently EVERYONE was surprised and upset about what we had to do...and we are over half way through the school year and I have a lot of work to do to get her ready.. I was scared of what decision to make b/c I did not want to hurt Sugar Mama's feelings, but the Hubs and I (who are almost always on the same page) agreed that pulling her would be the best solution.. I even talked to her about it, (not without crying) and she was fine with it.

So tomorrow starts my first day of homeschooling, Have I mentioned that I have a toddler who is All Work, All the Time?!? I have been completely stressed about this decision and I'm afraid of failing her...but I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that God brought me to that school.. it was too wonderful for him not too, and I also know that he's leading me away from there..he will see me through this process..and through him I will be successful for his will. That is the hardest part, relinquishing my control...

Today I am Thankful for:

Guidance: I am completely stressed about this decision, but I believe I can do all things through him which strengthens me.. I have to rely on his guidance b/c on my own, I am sure to mess this up. I desire your simultaneous prayers.. I'm going to need all of those, and the help I can get...

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