You may have read some of my blog posts recently that mentioned our journey to buy our first house. I, just a moment ago, read Angie Smiths Blog: Bring the Rain, and her post about being faithful, patient, and obedient in a similar situation, which led me to believe that since I share everything else with you, perhaps I should share this too...
You may also have noticed that the economy is really bad, and the housing market perhaps even worse. So many families have lost their sources of income and then their homes. My surrounding towns have so many foreclosures that houses being put on the market are selling for tens of thousands of dollars less, and declining appraisals are making financing next to impossible.
Needless to say it has been one of the most frustrating, and emotionally driven situations we have ever been a part of. We have 2 children and so our main criteria:
1. Land. Not major acreage, but enough to put in a playground and have some room for Dooley.
2. A superior school system. We do not currently reside in one of those....
And that is about it..
You might consider my faith to be child-like, but I have always known that when God intended for me to have something.. it just felt right... and it worked out with minimal effort from me. When buying a car.. having a baby.. going back to school: All situations in my life that worked out better than I could have planned and required none of my attention. It's how good he is.
Buying a house has not been like that... I've said on more than one occasion lately "Maybe it's just not meant to be"...
The deal is though... I haven't let it be. We have worked really hard to clean up some financial mess that we made years ago. And the hard work came by paying off all of the debt we owed.. certainly not an easy feat, but well worth the sense of pride in seeing a zero balance. The trade off is that even though we sacrificed, stressed, and paid more than we thought we could, the consequence is struggling to buy a house. We have done literally everything we can do, and have left it in the hands of our mortgage broker.. There is no guarantee that it will work, and that outcome is incredibly hard to swallow.
As a child were you ever faced with a situation where your parents made a decision that you didn't agree with, even though it affected your life majorly, and you were upset? Upset enough that holding your breath, stomping your feet, letting out subsequent breath long enough to scream at the top of your lungs "I don't WANNA!!!" seemed like a good start .. that is where I stand. I know this may not work.. I know that as it stands right now I have put a lot of effort into something that I should put a lot of faith in.. I know that every house I look at and love has gone under contract within 24 hours after my presences...but should we not move the hubs and I have decided to home school Sugar Mama until we can move....
That's the I don't WANNA part.. I love my daughter, but kindergarten is a much bigger deal that Pre-k and I am literally terrified that it may be my responsibility. Nice attitude of a person who encourages you to be faithful, offer up your needs/wants/worries, and walk with the will of God... The thing is that my wanting to buy a house has a lot of good reasoning (well good to me)
1. I just want to own a little piece of this world.. I can't take it with me when I leave it, but I would like to paint my walls the colors I want them.. have the flooring I like, etc.
2. When we moved into the house we have now (a rental) we were a family of 3 with no immediate plans to change it.. we had been trying with little success, but not long after the Nugget came along as did her furniture, clothes, toys, etc. We have out grown this house.
No to many reasons.. but I ask for your prayers... I would really like to move, and buy my (our) own house, but should the Lord decide that he has other plans for me I ask that you pray for my guidance. I can pray, and I do that God's Will be done, I also pray that should mine and God's will not match up that he guide my attitude and life to be thankful for what he has given, because it's more than I deserved in the first place.
Today I am Thankful For:
Reminders: I realize now, as I have before that I have not been faithful or patient about buying a home. I struggle with the subsequent decisions that need to be made should we not be able to. I still want to buy a house, but will try much harder to be still and let God have his way.. for it's much better than mine any way, and I will most likely (continue to) mess it up.
Love to you all.