Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Hope...

What are some things that give you hope? Kelly Stamps wrote a blog about infertility week, how women around the world long to have children of their very own and struggle with conception.

There are so many situations in this life that make a person seem hopeless, that is nothing more than an illusion satan created to hide the majesty God holds in our lives. I conceived Sugar Mama pretty easily, but I had a very trying pregnancy. I never lost hope, but I do very specifically remember feeling as though I had been betrayed by my own body. As a woman, a mother, my body was designed to protect this little life that grew inside of me, instead it was failing her, threatening to evict her prematurely. I was scared, and angry at time because I was literally at God's mercy... my doctor's gave the grimmest outlooks. I remember once, after many hospital visits, my OBGYN told me that under NO circumstances would I leave the hospital with out a cerclage (a fancy word for sewin' up my cervix). This meant a hospital visit of no less than six weeks, and a much stricter bed rest schedule.... the next morning when they checked my cervix before the surgery they couldn't do the cerclage because mine was to long.

When I had the Nugget I was incredibly afraid history would repeat itself. After 22 weeks of visiting my specialist he took me into his office and told me he had no idea what to do with me because there was nothing wrong with me...

It was as close to hopeless as a person could be.. afraid that this life was spiraling out of control and I didn't have the power to stop the chaos. I had some of the most spiritual experience of my life during this time. I distinctly remember carrying my tiny little 6 lb. baby to a singing at my church, and showing her to my Plemons' for the first time.. the people who had struggled right along with me.. and I could not control the emotions I felt when I saw Mama and Papa Plemons hold my Sugar Mama... I cannot imagine another experience in my life that will top it. :)

So when life hands you a situation that tricks you into thinking that the light at the end of you tunnel has been extinguished, please remember that it's an illusion. When you accept Jesus into your life, he sticks...he never leaves, never forsakes.. only loves and guides, and reminds that he is in control.. it's never hopeless.

Today I am Thankful for :

The hope that he gives: Life is so chaotic and stressful at times, looking at my children and husband lets me know that nothing I do in this life is hopeless. I've never done anything in this life to deserve what I have, but he continues to bless me, which gives me hope for all things.. the present, the future, eternity...

Love to you all!!!

2 comments:

  1. I love this blog. Even though I haven't been through exactly what you have been through, i have been through my own trails so far. Through it all God has took care of Chris, Hunter, and myself. I have to just keep trusting him.

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  2. It's the only thing you can do... having a child is one of the most spiritual moments of you life, and is concrete proof our God exists.. how else could you hold that little bundle of joy in your arms and in God's image :) I'm glad you read, and excited for all the wonderful changes coming :)

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