I mentioned in the last post that I read a lot... and I do. I read anything that peaks my interest and that's exactly how I choose my books. As superficial as it sounds if I'm browsing a bunch of different books, such as in a thrift stores, I look for the covers that are pretty and bright. :) Of course I also look for names that I recognize and have enjoyed before, but if I don't recognize, then I "Judge a book by it's cover" :)
I read, as the old man in the thrift store put it, garbage books. He admitted his wife enjoyed those too, so he was kind but, never the less, my choice in reading material should be put on the curb. I love the stories, how each one is different in characters, plot line, etc., but if you really look at it they are all inherently the same. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy and girl find each other once again... they love like they have never loved before, insert heart breaking, tear jerking climax here... and then BAM! we're married!!
It's not realistic. It's certainly not real life. You will find that either one or both of the main characters is insanely rich. Able to make plans at a moments notice, fly to parts unknown, and soak up sand and sun while the real world works and struggles around them. I enjoy these books because while the stories are fictitious and I know they do not emulate real life, I read because I like stepping into the mind of the author. She will describe, love, heart break, loneliness, anger, in a way totally different then the person before her.
However, as I've been reading I started to fear that it was setting me up for an inevitable failure. In the world there is love, passion, happiness, all the ideas found in the book, but it doesn't have to be whirlwind romances in exotic places. Or at the hands of the ridiculously wealthy. While these books are fun to invite into my life for a short time, I know that the romance found in that book should not be a comparison to the romance I find in my life. My husband isn't rich... he has an actual job that requires him to work. He doesn't fight in wars, or engage in vicious fights with the "bad guys" but he sure is my hero.
True romance is the ability to have a strong shoulder to cry on when needed. Strong arms that hold you when your day seems it cannot get any worse. Kind words when your self esteem has taken a serious blow. Eyes that light up when his daughters get so excited to see him. Peace in his heart when the turmoil threatens to surround him. A responsibility and commitment to his family that simply outweighs everything else. A man that loves with his whole heart and promises to protect the love you've put in him. I love my husband more and more everyday. To the point that when I've had dreams that ran parallel with the plot lines of books that I've read.. my heart has physically ached in my sleep because the man in that dreams in not the man of mine. I don't love him for his money or the notions expected from romance novels, but because when it comes to real life, and real love, he's the only author I need.
We finally got our girls back and the week has been so busy..
First we untied them, which is how they were transported back.. JUST KIDDING :)
First thing first I fixed my hair. Not in the flat iron sense but in the I-got-frustrated-with-dark-roots-and-dyed-it-myself way... I had to get it fixed because my frustration bought me orange hair... (sigh :)
Monday: We fed the ducks.. man those were some greedy ducks. We didn't even pull out our bread before they waddled on over to gobble it up. We had the added benefit of feeding a ton of smaller fish, and watching a duck wiggly it's feathery booty in the air :)
Wednesday: I got to do my all time favorite thing... buy books from the thrift store... I read a lot and two summers ago I decided to start keeping the books I read. Mostly because it's hard to remember which one's I've read, but also because in the off chance I want to read them again, I have them... Below shows the 131 books I have read since the summer of 2009.
Thursday: I look down to find Pea in a Pod like this....
Notice the one un-socked foot sticking out of the bottom :) She loves to "chew" on blankets :)
But we spent 3 blissful hours at an inflatables place. It was wonderful because we were the only ones there. My sweet nugget girl was so good!! I simply ached with the love as I watched her have fun with such open joy on her face, and sweetness in her heart as she played with the 3 other children who showed up at various times. I noticed that she followed, but I would almost describe it as herding her little friends to do what she wanted them to do. And she played little mama!! She had such a good time that she didn't cry a single tear when it was time to leave. As we walked to the car she said "Mama, I so happy. I so proud of you!!" Man I love my girls!!
Today Nugget girl, Pea in a Pod and I went to have lunch with Mama J for her birthday. My girls, when you read this later in life, know that YOUR mama loves birthdays. I may stay 29 for a long time but I will always want to acknowledge birthdays no matter what my birth certificate says :) The hubs went on a school field trip with Sugar Mama to the zoo!! Again Nugget girl was simply so good. She held hands with my niece and acted like such a big girl!!
We came home today and played outside where we attempted to take the training wheels off of Sugar Mama's bike. She was nervous and is simply not having it yet. But we'll get there!! So that's it for this week.
Today I am Thankful for:
It took me 4 days to get this post together because Nugget girl couldn't stay awake long enough for me to have a moment to get this picture :)
This week, my 2 oldest girls are on a mini-vaca without me. I know, I know!! My grandmother had agreed to take my cousins for the week of spring break and kindly asked me to take my 2 sweetest girls. At first I politely declined. Nothing against my grandmother, but my children are always with me. But after some consideration, and more asking from my nanny, I agreed, reluctantly. Again, not because of nanny, just simply because I wouldn't have anything to do without them :(
You would think that I would enjoy the break... Um.. NO!! I miss them incredibly, so much that when I spoke with them yesterday I almost cried. How Sad!!
side note: I am now convinced that I will have to find some semblance of a life because I refuse to have empty nest syndrome 12 years from now!! :)
Any who.. Pea in a Pod and I have been staring at each other and taking lots of naps. I used to think that having a baby was so hard.. back when I had only one baby, now I know that it was such a breeze. I was just to much of a novice to know :)
So this is how we've spent our days... This is all of the places that Pea in a Pod went yesterday.. Or Slept...
On the Sofa One..
On the sofa Two..
On the play gym in the floor...
And finally in her basinett
Man do I miss those girls!! Those little traitors just talked to their daddy and didn't even ask to speak to me :(
For future reference they will never go anywhere again!! :) (kidding, kidding... well sort of)
Today I am Thankful for:
The fun my sweet little girls are having... even if it means that I'm bored out of my mind!! :)
The sound of foot steps, followed by a sweet "Good Mornin' Mommy" from my sweetest girls.
Lying with my smallest girl and sharing alone and bonding time as my body nourishes hers the way God prepared it to do.
Un-requested moments of love from my sweet girls... hugs, sugars, or just "I love you mommy".
The way my nugget girl says "It's okay mommy" any time she sees me cry.
The dimples carved into the cheeks of all three of my girls. 1 and 3 with 2 highly defined, and 2 with a slightly less obvious and yet more mischievous one :)
The giggles that erupt whenever I attempt to copy the highly dramatic faces of my two oldest girls.
Little girl feet... we have a size 11, 8, and not even a one... how wonderful to see those sweet little piggies, be sweet and little.
The edge of exhaustion... it can be the most trying time, especially for my nugget girl, but when she's there it can also be her most loving self... she's falling asleep at my feet as I type this :)
The smiles and coos of my smallest girl.
The absolute joy on Sugar Mama's face when she's accomplished a much sought after skill. Her embarrassed laugh/smile makes me want to just squeeze the love right out of her.
My husband... there are simply too many qualities to list here, but he is strong, peaceful, loving, kind, compassionate, willing, again I could go on forever.
The smell of the air when the seasons change. One of my most favorite times of year is the break of fall. The air is fresh, crisp, and it promises that change is coming.. a new starting point every year.
The warmth of the sun on my skin, especially when it turns my favorite shade of olive. I find it comforting and secure to know that as I bask in the light of the sun it simply won't compare to the warmth and glow I will find the rays of the Son.
Pictures... I don't have many from when I was a baby, and even fewer as I got older. I have documented every significant thing in my children's lives thus far. Someday I want them to look back and remember the good times, but to also feel the love we had for them.
The beach... it's endless. The tide will always come, and sometimes more violently than others. The old can be swept away and replaced by renewed, fresh, life.
The blue eyes of my three girls which reflect different colors depending on their clothing color choice for the day. I pray that one day someone will look at those eyes and be as in love with them as their dad and I are.
Tiny painted fingers and toes. I've come so close to painting Pea in a Pod's toes just because they are so small I want to see how adorable they would be.. I haven't done it though.. cutting her nails is hard enough :)
The enthusiasm of Sugar Mama as she calls me endlessly to "watch this" or "watch this" for the record I just want to point out that it's always the same... cartwheels with karate added :)
The boyish charm of my husband's hair. It makes me laugh with delight as I think about him as a small boy with that crazy hair when he woke up.
The laughter of my children... it always makes me laugh too.
The smell of a baby... I have often said I wish I could bottle it, I would smell it everyday if I could.
Tooth-less grins...is there anything better than chunky cheeks and big ol' gums? Um...no!
The 3 & 5 yr old conversations that I have. At 3 Nugget girl is obsessed with Toy Story, Juice and cheese. At 5 Sugar mama is equally obsessed with Justin Bieber and a 2nd grader with Justin Bieber moves. You can't make this stuff up, and quiet frankly, as Mama J so nicely reminded me and the hubs last night, I was boy crazy, so it stands to reason it's all my fault :). As far as they are concerned I have only ever dated their father. :)
God... as Sugar Mama says constantly "Last but not least." See I haven't been that great with giving him my time, prayers, thoughts, well much of anything over the past couple months. That's all for another post, but it's not because my love for him has diminished in any way, but simply because I'm at a place in life that I don't recognize. Again, nothing ground breaking, but as I had some seriously dramatic moments this week, he's reminding me more and more that's he's been here all along. He was sad to watch me stumble along and do things my way knowing the outcome would hurt me. He caught those endless tears and stored them in a place that seals them.. for one day he knows I'll come to see him and never shed them again. He reminded me that he is always in control.. I don't have to do it anymore. I can let go and he'll catch me when I fall, for in those few free-falling moments, he'll give me freedom... He let me know that the fear that harbors and anchors itself in my heart.. the one that paralyzes me sometimes, is in vain. He's hanging out with my loved ones, and they were scared once too, but if only I could see them now. I would be happy for them. I'm in love with him because he knows how many hairs there are on my head.. what my life holds daily, the fears, anxiety, self-consciousness I hold onto and he loves me anyways. He watched his son carry that cross, take that beating, turned his eyes from the pain his son bore... for me and you. I am in love with him because even all my love is too small. I am in love because he loves me. I am in love because he saves me.