Saturday, April 2, 2011

I'm In Love...

With...

The sound of foot steps, followed by a sweet "Good Mornin' Mommy" from my sweetest girls.

Lying with my smallest girl and sharing alone and bonding time as my body nourishes hers the way God prepared it to do.

Un-requested moments of love from my sweet girls... hugs, sugars, or just "I love you mommy".

The way my nugget girl says "It's okay mommy" any time she sees me cry.

The dimples carved into the cheeks of all three of my girls.  1 and 3 with 2 highly defined, and 2 with a slightly less obvious and yet more mischievous one :)

The giggles that erupt whenever I attempt to copy the highly dramatic faces of my two oldest girls.

Little girl feet... we have a size 11, 8, and not even a one... how wonderful to see those sweet little piggies, be sweet and little.

The edge of exhaustion... it can be the most trying time, especially for my nugget girl, but when she's there it can also be her most loving self... she's falling asleep at my feet as I type this :)

The smiles and coos of my smallest girl.  

The absolute joy on Sugar Mama's face when she's accomplished a much sought after skill.  Her embarrassed laugh/smile makes me want to just squeeze the love right out of her.

My husband... there are simply too many qualities to list here, but he is strong, peaceful, loving, kind, compassionate, willing, again I could go on forever.

The smell of the air when the seasons change.  One of my most favorite times of year is the break of fall.  The air is fresh, crisp, and it promises that change is coming.. a new starting point every year.

The warmth of the sun on my skin, especially when it turns my favorite shade of olive.  I find it comforting and secure to know that as I bask in the light of the sun it simply won't compare to the warmth and glow I will find the rays of the Son.

Pictures... I don't have many from when I was a baby, and even fewer as I got older.  I have documented every significant thing in my children's lives thus far.  Someday I want them to look back and remember the good times, but to also feel the love we had for them.

The beach... it's endless.  The tide will always come, and sometimes more violently than others.  The old can be swept away and replaced by renewed, fresh, life.

The blue eyes of my three girls which reflect different colors depending on their clothing color choice for the day.  I pray that one day someone will look at those eyes and be as in love with them as their dad and I are.

Tiny painted fingers and toes.  I've come so close to painting Pea in a Pod's toes just because they are so small I want to see how adorable they would be.. I haven't done it though.. cutting her nails is hard enough :)

The enthusiasm of Sugar Mama as she calls me endlessly to "watch this" or "watch this" for the record I just want to point out that it's always the same... cartwheels with karate added :)

The boyish charm of my husband's hair.  It makes me laugh with delight as I think about him as a small boy with that crazy hair when he woke up.

The laughter of my children... it always makes me laugh too.

The smell of a baby... I have often said I wish I could bottle it, I would smell it everyday if I could.

Tooth-less grins...is there anything better than chunky cheeks and big ol' gums?  Um...no!

The 3 & 5 yr old conversations that I have.  At 3 Nugget girl is obsessed with Toy Story, Juice and cheese.  At 5 Sugar mama is equally obsessed with Justin Bieber and a 2nd grader with Justin Bieber moves.  You can't make this stuff up, and quiet frankly, as Mama J so nicely reminded me and the hubs last night, I was boy crazy, so it stands to reason it's all my fault :).  As far as they are concerned I have only ever dated their father. :) 

God... as Sugar Mama says constantly "Last but not least."  See I haven't been that great with giving him my time, prayers, thoughts, well much of anything over the past couple months.  That's all for another post, but it's not because my love for him has diminished in any way, but simply because I'm at a place in life that I don't recognize.  Again, nothing ground breaking, but as I had some seriously dramatic moments this week, he's reminding me more and more that's he's been here all along.  He was sad to watch me stumble along and do things my way knowing the outcome would hurt me.  He caught those endless tears and stored them in a place that seals them.. for one day he knows I'll come to see him and never shed them again.  He reminded me that he is always in control.. I don't have to do it anymore.  I can let go and he'll catch me when I fall, for in those few free-falling moments, he'll give me freedom... He let me know that the fear that harbors and anchors itself in my heart.. the one that paralyzes me sometimes, is in vain.  He's hanging out with my loved ones, and they were scared once too, but if only I could see them now.  I would be happy for them.  I'm in love with him because he knows how many hairs there are on my head.. what my life holds daily, the fears, anxiety, self-consciousness I hold onto and he loves me anyways.  He watched his son carry that cross, take that beating, turned his eyes from the pain his son bore... for me and you.  I am in love with him because even all my love is too small.  I am in love because he loves me.  I am in love because he saves me.

Today I am Thankful for: 

L-O-V-E 

P.S. Welcome to Lively Situation's 200th post!!

2 comments:

  1. I love your honesty! Your post made me laugh and also brought a tear to my eye. God has shown me that He loves time with me even if it isn't very long or if it is interrupted by children. My prayer for you is that your time with Him will be about quality. You are a great mom!

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  2. Thanks You!! I like that "being honest" instead of calling it "letting out your crazy" ;) I do hope he sees those fleeting moments as the time I devote to him, understanding the craziness that is this life. Thank you for your sincerity, it's always humbling to think that something you've said could get any type of emotion from someone else. So I'm glad you got to read it and liked it :)

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