Thursday, May 5, 2011

Going to the Chapel, and We're Gonna Get Maaaaarried....

This is the love of my life... next week we will officially be wed for 7 years.  So 7 years ago I was singing about going to the chapel :)

Let me back up...

I come from a home of divorced parents.. honestly I never really knew any different.  By the time I was able to understand, my dad was traveling the world in the military and Mama J had remarried, so that was my life.  My dad eventually remarried exposing me to step parents my whole life, but because my parents remained such great friends post-divorce I never considered that life should be any other way.  However, I knew someday that I wanted different than that.  I wanted to get married and stay that way.  I never had any grand illusions that my parents would reunite but I just wanted to know that for me it was forever.

Enter the hubs who comes from a home where his parents are still married to this day and he is an only child.  Our lives couldn't be different.  I know what my children experience as a middle child of 3.  He knows what it's like to get what you want when you want it.  I am the middle child of 3, he is an only child.  I grew up in a single parent home most of my life, his parents have always been together.. 

But thinking on our lives today I laughed recalling some of the silliness we've been through over the past 7 years.. (we've been together for 9 1/2 but only married 7).  How did we do it?

1. We refuse to argue in emotion.  When I'm angry, and believe me it takes quite a bit to get me there, I have to walk away.  I need a moment to compose myself, otherwise, I say what comes to mind, regardless of feelings. 

2. I love him even in the bad times.  Life is hard... We are a single income family with 3 children.  I watch the budget as carefully as possible and when the bills are rolling in, and money is rolling out, leaving virtually no extra it can be taxing.  Money is the number one things couples fight about.. I love him when I'm wearing yoga pants for day 2 because it's what I have or when I'm being pampered... it never leaves, exactly the opposite it grows everyday.

3. We do not fight about money.  We are open and honest with each about what we spend, where it's going and whether or not it's going to be there when we need it :)  The only time we are secretive is around holiday time.. then, well a surprise is a surprise :)

4. We share in the responsibility of raising our children.  I spend a great deal of time with them, which often leads them to believe that I'm the only one who disciplines.. it's not the case.  I don't defer to him and he does not to me.  Whoever gets to the situation first handles it, and we back each other up.  We do not under mind the other.  If there is something we need to talk about, we do it in private.  We always present a united front.

5. We always talk.  We share everything.  There is not a thing that happens during my day that I do not share with him.  Sometimes it when I'm venting, others when I'm laughing but always because I want him to be a part too.   He tells me about his job, and though I cannot possibly understand it, I like listening and being a part of his life away from us.

6. We take time together. We have 3 children so it's hard to find a baby sitter but occasionally we ask Mama J to venture over and have a date night.  It lets our children know that we love each other and they simply wouldn't be without us.. and God of course.  We came first, and we have to keep it that way.  One day our children will have lives of their own and we will be a couple again... we need to know each other when we get there. 

7.  We are linked in the brain.  No, seriously.  It's like we can read each other's mind.  I often say we are always on the same page and that's because we're always thinking the same thing, having the same ideas, and coming to the same conclusions.  I like to think it's because our souls are linked so it runs straight to the brain.

So that's seven.. the number of completion.  I"ll leave it at that and know that I am thankful :)

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