Wednesday, June 29, 2011
I live in a bubble.
I do not watch the news because that much sadness will depress my spirit.
I surround myself with positive God loving people who treat others well.
I spend all day long with 3 innocent little girls who know nothing of hate, insecurity, jealousy, retaliation, etc, so my mind and spirit stay clear that way too.
But sometimes the ugly invades from places that don't preface it. For instance in a blog, that a woman has graciously written to chronicle the lives of her children so she can one day look back and remember the fleeting moment when her children were hers alone and small enough to need her for anything.
Kelly Stamps shares, with tens of thousands of people everyday, and yet someone had the audacity to speak ill of her children because they were jealous. My reaction was so instantaneous I was shaking.
You can say what you want about me, I'm a big girl and I can take it, but if someone EVER and I mean EVER said those things about my husband and children there would be mountains of prayers needed to leash the anger.. I'm just saying.
That person burst my bubble and quite frankly I won't stand for it. So there's that..
This week has been an insanely busy week for me. I have a test on Thursday that is super important and I have holed myself and children up in the house studying about 6 chapters worth of material.. yeesh!!
But today I got the benefit of taking my 2 oldest girls to the dentist. Sugar Mama is an old pro but this was Nugget girl's first visit. Of course I had to take them by myself and of course I borrowed trouble for no good reason because they both did beautifully.
I swear sometimes I ask myself how I got such awesome kids, well during those times they aren't fighting and aggravating the tar out of me and each other :)
I didn't get one of Sugar Mama because our new dentist suggest that patients 4 and over are old enough to go back and be cleaned by themselves.. I'm still trying to decide if I like that or not...
But we received good news that we are brushing great and we have no cavities. It is so rewarding for a perfect stranger to acknowledge all the hard work put into flossing and brushing baby teeth.. just saying :)
And lastly, the girls and I found this last week when we noticed a mama bird taking various things from our yard...
These make me so happy and remind me that life inside my bubble is just fine :)
Today I am Thankful for:
The little nudge that reminded me to keep my cool today when I really, and I mean really wanted to lose it. You can be angry and sin not :)
Friday, June 24, 2011
I posted this on my facebook yesterday but,
Life can suck everything out of you. But then you read about real problems and God gives you perspective.
I'm dealing with a situation in school that could turn my world upside down. And quite frankly for about 18 hours I decided to throw myself a pity party and be sad. After talking with my husband I realized that I let the world tell me what I could or couldn't do.
When my doctors told me that my Sugar Mama wouldn't make it past 28 weeks, God took her to 36 weeks and 3 days.
When my doctors told me that no matter what the outcome of my cervix scan was, they were sewing it up, God made it so long they physically could not.
So when the world tells me that they think I can't do something, I remembered today to show them how big my God is. He may have other plans, but if he does he'll open those doors and close the one's that are wrong.
Don't put my God in a box...
And someone who knows that better than I do is Kelly Stamps. You should go and read her post about Harper's hearing aids. It breaks my heart for her, but she is so graceful and faithful that I really ache at how strong she is, when lesser people would stumble.
God can do anything.. in his time, with his mercy and grace, and will show the world exactly what he's capable of.
And if you don't believe me.. Just check this out...
She just turned six, but it shows how great God still is.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Kelly Stamps posted this on her blog and it was too wonderful not to share. The comments that followed summed it up best:
Parenting is feeling like you're being pecked to death by chickens.. :)
It's hard, but the true sacrifices are not seen now, and may never been seen, but they'll influence a life one day, and that's good enough for me.
MOTHERHOOD AS A MISSION FIELD
by: Rachel Jankovic
As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.
If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the Church.
There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.
At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.
If you are like me, then you may be thinking “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty- year- old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.
Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.
Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?
So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it? I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.
But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.
It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.
God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.
This came from desiringgod.org
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
This morning I had to rush to the hospital to meet the twin. She had this sweet little bundle of joy this afternoon, a whole 4 weeks early. He was so anxious to meet me, he could not wait a moment longer :)
And if you ever doubt how good God is.. he is completely healthy with no time spent in the NICU.
I am so thankful for God's continued blessings on these bundles of joy!!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Happy Father's Day to my sweet husband. It also happens to be his 29th birthday :) That's right he has officially entered the last year of his 20's.. I can hardly believe it.
So Sugar Mama had a Rock Star Birthday party yesterday. Her girlfriends came over and got make-overs from a friend of mine. We played Dance Central on the Kinect, had cake, and destroyed the playroom :) The best part of the party was the Great American Cookie factory cake... there was so much icing, but it's what Sugar Mama asked for. She had a great time and some of the girls had so much fun they cried when they had to leave :)
But today has been all about daddy. We let him sleep in. Took him to his choice of restaurant for lunch, where he sweetly accepted the chorus of singing employees shouting "Happy Birthday." Sugar mama and Nugget girl absolutely loved it :)
We are, in a few minutes, going outside to work on our blasted playground. We've had it for 6 months and the thing still isn't right because the Husband has had no time to fool with it and let's be honest I wouldn't know if my life depended on it.
Here is how that went:
Here is how that went:
And check out Nugget girl's face
And then of course Sweet Pea
I was a little bummed that his birthday and father's day fell on the same day again this year. It was like that the year Sugar mama was born. No lie we were so strapped that year, from having to go to one income and my continual hospital stays, that his present that year was a new bible... that was purchased by the women of my church :) This year I did not want to combine the gifts because I think that is so jacked up..
However, I got him a gift certificate to go sky diving. He will go by himself and I included a video/picture package. He was stunned!! But after spending all of that hard earned stolen money (remember I don't work) I could steal no more... so the weed eater will have to wait :)
Today I am thankful for:
The day my husband was born 29 years ago, and the day my sweetest girl was born 6 years ago... he has been a gift to me and my girls and first became a father 6 years ago :)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Today you turn 6 years old!! Happy Birthday.
Let's see... you started off the day by bounding in to my bathroom shouting "Today is My Birthday!!" Before any of us could wish you a happy birthday :) You spent the morning asking for things for "the birthday girl". We went out today and bought your party supplies and birthday cake for your upcoming Rock Star/Make over party. How exciting it was to purchase colored hair on bobby pins to attach to your friends :) Next we came home for you to bathe and then pick out your clothes..
*side note* the skirt you picked out today was a little too small. You refused to admit that and even went so far as to say "I'm not taking it off"... it made me laugh. Hard.
So where did you decide to eat today? Zaxby's where you declared that Zaxby's is the best restaurant, because they make everything you love. Of course you were sipping a birthday cake milkshake so perhaps your judgement is a little sugary cloudy :) We sang happy birthday to you and let you open your presents.
Daddy and I got you and ipod.. which you pronounce oddpod and you were ecstatic. You cannot wait for it to charge so you can listen to Justin Bieber, Lemonade Mouth and Big Time Rush. I have already uttered the statement today.. 6 going on 16. :)
Tender Hearted: I see so much of myself in you that it hurts my heart for you. You may find yourself years from not wondering why people won't like you, or why they insist on being mean. Part of me wishes to make you a little tougher, and the other part knows that someday someone will love that tender heart as it should be. I haven't decided which part has won out :)
You are incredibly funny. I laugh at the funny things that you say often. An especially funny facet of your personality is your insistence on using new vocabulary even when you are not sure that it finds it's rightful place.
You are Loving. You love Nugget Girl and Sweet Pea as patiently and kindly as any mama I know. I just know one day you will be a great mother. Years, and years, and years down the road.. PLEASE!!
Inside that pure heart of yours is innocence. Just this year, without fully understanding what you had done, you asked Jesus to come and live in your heart. He was the one who brought you safely into this world, he guides your heart daily, for you've never known a life without him. Keep that. For in the years to come you will need him more than ever.
Today I am so Thankful for:
That sweet bundle of joy who first made me a mother. You worried me silly when you were fighting to stay safe, but brought me closer to God by showing me that against all odds, God is always bigger. I love you and Happy Birthday Sugar Mama!!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
My smallest girl was able to get in the water today, and she loved it!! We floated for a very long time, and tried our best to keep from licking the pool water (blech)
She LOVES water :)
We finally had some daddy quality time today. Thank Goodness!!
Mommy had a mini-make over and got make up.. for real grown up make up. You probably think that is silly, but for real I'm almost 30 and until today had NO idea how to apply it, or even what colors to wear :)
Then we went to dinner ..
Sugar Mama took these photos :)
And then Sweet Pea got a big girl seat :)
Today I am so thankful for:
My wonderful girls who make it possible for us to get out of this house :)
And quality time with the Husband.. it's nice to see him :)
Friday, June 10, 2011
So I get super tired of being at home.. and although it makes me sweat profusely, I attempt, on occasion to take all three of my girls anywhere in civilization.
This morning this was the scene on my bed from my only two girls awake... sisterly love:)
I decided we were going to the movies today. We had to do something. But before we went I had a conversation with my Sugar Mama that went like this:
Sugar Mama: "Mama, is being with God fun?"
Me: "I'm not sure sweet girl, but I'm sure it is."
Sugar Mama: "I bet it is, he has cheese, places to fish, and he's magic."
Sugar Mama: "Yeah remember he made the water rise up in the bible"
Oh, how I love that girl :)
We went to see Kung Fu Panda 2
They were super good. Sweet Pea wanted to nurse, and let me just say I do not do that in public. I'm just not comfortable, although if you can, go for it. I cannot. I stumble and get all anxious and start to sweat and then my baby gets anxious... it's a mess. Soooooo I had to do a little rocking and praying.. the praying worked and she went to sleep for about 15 minutes :)
So it bought me a little time. In the in between, I was stressing out about Nugget girl wearing panties and needing to go to the potty. She did tell me that she needed to go, sparing us both the embarrassment of her having an accident in the theater :)
We were worn out by the end of the day, and a little proof that the Toy Story obsession continues...
Today I am Thankful for:
My friends... I love them, they are the best, and God gave me them to keep me sane :)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
It's summer time, and one would think that this would be a much simpler time for me. It so isn't. I started back school 3 weeks ago and I already have my first test. For a class that meets once a week it's a little overwhelming.
Sugar Mama is home, which is Great for Nugget girl, but Nugget girl is giving me the hardest time on Potty Training. She was doing so well that I decided to put her in panties. I have thrown away no less than 3 pairs because she refuses to go on her own. She will only go if I remind her to go, and sometimes even between the times I remind her. Why is she not sensing that she needs to go on her own. Is it something I'm doing wrong? I've only potty trained one girl and she was a breeze... what is going on? It has me so stressed out because she cannot go to school in August, or move up with her friends at Church school if she doesn't learn to go. I even had a super sensitive dream about it. So this keeps me running all day long, and tied to the house for fear of puddles at the store.
My little sweet pea is just growing so much. And what a smiley baby!! If I even look at her she gives me a grin so big I can see all of her gums!! We are easing into baby foods, and I'm really not in any hurry to take her there fully, because she is quite possibly my last baby.
Last night I was brushing my 2 oldest girls teeth and I looked at their 3 little towels all hanging next to each other on the wall. My thought: there isn't room for a fourth. We have only 3 extra bedrooms (if you count our current playroom which will eventually be Sugar Mama's bedroom).. no fourth for a future baby. And to be quite honest I'm not sure that I want to do that again... but to be even more honest I would do it again... If I could have a boy.
The twin is having one in a couple of weeks and I am so envious I can barely stand it. Not of her, but of the fact that she will have a son and I'm all but certain I never will. Should the Husband and I decide to not have any more children it will be a regret for me. I understand that God controls that, but there's no reason to not be honest here... so there it is.
On a happier note Nugget girl had her very first dance recital. I was nervous at first because she was asleep when we arrived. When she woke up she was not happy!! When it was time to wait in line to go on stage she started to cry. At the 11th hour she decided to be my big sweet girl and dance like the pro she is ;)
We also enjoyed some water time in this extreme heat!!
Nugget girl swimming all by herself with her floaties. She doesn't even want me to touch her!!
And Sugar Mama who feels way more comfortable jumping into the deep end with floaties on.
Today I am Thankful for:
A break in the chaos. Yesterday had the potential to be a rather chaotic day. 8 loads of laundry, plus 3 children and an upcoming test. God saw fit to give me a break, let me stay in my p.j.'s all day, and get all 8 loads of laundry washed, folded, and put away. He also let pea in a pod sleep for a while so I could get some school work done. It was nice for just a moment to breathe.