I sat in church this morning by myself. The husband is back to working a crazy schedule, honestly the chaos of his work seems to be the norm, so the change will be when he's home on the weekends. Now sitting in service usually makes me feel awkward, but since we were starting our regular schedule I didn't give it a whole lot of thought because I was more worried about the big moves for our girls in church school.
Sugar Mama moved from preschool to the school age children and Nugget girl was able to visit the puppet show for the very first time.
So sitting in service I listened to our church band lead worship songs that included David Crowder Band "Oh How He Loves Us" and I realized that while I might have entered feeling awkward, God left that at the door for me. I was by myself, without my husband, but I was so filled with the spirit and an open hearted worship, I barely noticed. It was very strong for me today and I needed it.
My pastor preached on the Bible and how it should act as our compass. It is the concrete guide in a world that relies too heavily on objective feelings. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what we feel, or what happened to us years ago, but whether or not he lives in us right now.
I worry that I don't preach my gospel enough. That there is not fruit from him living in me right now. I don't interact with a ton of people but when I do, I try to shine God's love to let people know that while they don't know me, something is different... perhaps they'll wonder what that difference is. I don't argue with people who don't believe because honestly:
The energy spent arguing, disbelieving, and confronting is a great deal spent on something you are so positive doesn't exist. If God weren't real those people wouldn't need to spend so much time and energy arguing against him.
But today I realized that this is my witness... here is where I share through my everyday life and can let other people know what's in my heart. I love Jesus. Not because of the blessings he gives, although I'm grateful, but because he first loved me. Because he saw fit to give his life, even if was just me who would have believed, he still would have done it. I go to my church, not because it is the only place that God lives, but because it is a place to be encouraged, to feel a community of spirit and to learn/remember that my compass is always there to guide me when I'm lost, or anxious to go to a new place.
I trust God with my eternity... a time so expansive that the human mind cannot comprehend it, so I can and will trust him with my everyday.
Also... These are my witness... my investment in their lives, including taking them to church by myself even when it feels a little awkward, opens a conversation about my relationship with God.
Preschool Open House :)
Sitting Up all by herself :)
This child refuses to eat anything but fruit!! I ran out and so I let her try an orange slice. She loved them...
Today I am Thankful for:
A place to witness. And People to witness to :)