Sunday, February 3, 2013

Coming Home, But Going Forward.

It's been a long time since I have opened this browser.  A long time since I've thought about blogging and sharing my pictures with the few people who read this space.  If you read me for a little while before, you know that I was working hard to get into Nursing School.  

I am happy to be in a place where I can look back at the sweat, blood and tears fondly and know that I am going forward.  The light at the end of the tunnel is still 15 months away, but it gives me a time in the future to look forward to. 

So here I am, coming home to a place where my "grandparents" in California will be happy to see the faces of my munchkins in just a bit. 
Here I am trying to remember all the things I wanted to remember in this space, so that years from now I will look back on THESE moments fondly. 

So.. Here Goes-

-I have cemented in my brain that this is what God has called me to do.  I absolutely love the clinical interaction of this journey and now understand the saying "If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life"

-I have missed more church in the past 6 months than I have my entire adult life combined, but my relationship with God grows more, if that even makes sense.  Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely growing while serving, but daily my profession and my faith battle.  Some days I have to come home and decompress, just for a moment because the things I have experienced, felt, bring me to my knees in moments of "Why?!?" and I have to trust my God that somethings I will not ever understand, but he is with me always and I will come out the other side. 

-NOT being a stay at home mom in the moments before school seemed like a dream.  I was CRAVING adult interactions, an activity, hobby, anything that was soley mine and reflected only on who God made ME, and I got it.  And when I dropped my baby girl off at Preschool and she cried, I bolted out the door crying too.  When I dropped my baby girl off at Preschool and she got down and ran to hug her teacher, I bolted out the door crying hoping she hadn't found someone else to love more than me.  I battle daily with the small moments I get with them, crying to myself that some pretty important things are happening.  I hope that 10 years down the road both they and I are happy with what we did during this time.  

-I have met some incredible people.  I am certain that this girl will be my BFF for life.  God put us together and quickly it was a fast friendship.  People from school swear we have known each other forever, but not so.  And she confirms for me that the time CSU said no, was not only okay, but affirmation that God's timing is always better!!

A few other things that have happened: 

This lady scared a few years off my life.  She originally fell and broke her hip, but while preforming corrective surgery her heart stopped.  She had a 99% blockage in a major artery.  We spent lots of time in Anderson, SC praying that God would let us keep her, for just a little while longer, and he said yes.  

We've celebrated this small munchkins 2nd birthday.  Nothing terribly special, but she had a good time and really that is all that matter.

And to give the grandparents what they have really been waiting for..

Love to you all!! 

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